Starting Something New
Starting something new can feel daunting and scary.
I know, I know… another article about my kids and skiing‽ It's not even ski season!! It's better than hearing about stuffy meetings in conference rooms though, isn't it?
If you've been reading these posts, you know my son is a competitive mogul skier. Last year, he graduated to the "A League." Which means: longer courses, steeper runs, bigger moguls, and stiffer competition. But there's another difference worth mentioning - the athletes can go inverted on their jumps!
WHAT??!! BACKFLIPS?? ON SKIS???!!!
His mother’s not gonna like this! How does one even start to learn something like that without risking serious bodily harm?
It turns out there's a facility in upstate New York that teaches kids how to do crazy tricks on skis - by jumping into a pond. So, off we went in late August with a car full of ski, swim, and camping gear. My cognitive dissonance alarms were blaring.
My son was psyched. He’d been practicing on the trampoline all summer long and was ready to give it a go. On our way up, he shared with me that he hoped there were other new kids or that he could catch on quickly and not stand out as “the new guy.”
You can imagine his horror when the coach shut the whole ramp down to give my son, the only new kid, instructions! EVERYONE watched as he gave it a go and botched his first attempt. What could be worse?! It’s the OPPOSITE of Aura or Riz or Drip or Drippy Riz or whatever the hell they say these days.
Of course, everyone had to do the same for their first time…but it didn’t feel that way to him! As usual, I was impressed. He handled the situation with grace, laughed off his first few massive bellyflops (hit me up and I'll send you the videos, LOL) and, after three hard days, was backflipping like a champ!
What does this have to do with work or leadership you might ask? Well, I had plenty of time to ponder that question while sitting on the sideline for days.
When we land a new role or opportunity, or when we kick off a new project, don’t many of us try to project confidence? Aren’t we advised to "fake it till we make it" and act the part? "Never let ‘em see you sweat" and “just don’t look stupid,” right?
I see it differently.
What might have happened if my son had pretended to know what he was doing and was able to reject the discomfort of his first lesson in public? He probably would have been even more embarrassed… Or even hurt!
Shouldn’t it be OK to take the instruction or ask for help, especially when we’re new? Isn't that the time we’re most likely to make mistakes and benefit from support? Anyone who has ever taken on something new - from riding a bike to playing an instrument, from public speaking to leading an organization, has had to put themselves out there, and risk getting it wrong.
Those who project overconfidence and skip early lessons in the name of…looking cool (let's be honest, not much changes after high school), miss significant opportunities to grow and endear themselves to the team through vulnerability. And though the consequences may not be as physical or as violent as a backflip gone wrong, they can certainly de-rail a career.
Wouldn't it be great if it were "cool" to lean into our newness? If we didn’t have to hide that we don’t know what we’re doing? What if onboarding was really given the time and attention it deserved, before we’re thrown into the deep end?
Confidence isn't projecting competence when we don't have it, it's admitting where we have gaps and closing them.
So I say - stop hiding what you don't know. Embrace your newness and the freedom therein…because it only lasts so long. And worse than looking a little silly at the start, what happens when they ask you to "pull tricks" you're not prepared to handle?
