It’s February and, if you’ve been reading my blogs or know me at all, you know my mind, body, and family are deep into ski season. No trip to Japan for me this winter, but New England is having a banner year and we’re loving it.

Over the past few years, my son has gotten more seriously into competitive mogul skiing (if you’ve never seen it, I highly suggest you check it out this week in the Olympics). Part of being on the team involves travelling to other mountains to compete on different courses, each with their own challenges. In just a few hours, the athletes (kids!) have to assess the new course and plan their strategies for the competition.

This is where the psychology of it all plays in. As parents, we hear our kids talk it through. We hear statements like “I just want to make a clean run” or “I just want to stand one up” - which are all euphemisms for “I hope I don’t fall!”

While I totally get the goal of just wanting to survive, my son is starting to want to WIN. Not in our family’s traditional definition, in which winners are always improving against themselves, but actually winning… against real life competitors! In order to win though, the idea of making a clean run, while safe and reasonable, isn’t gonna cut it. Because there’s always someone willing to go for it, someone who wants it bad enough to put it on the line.

So the question becomes, how bad does he want it? And is he willing to risk the fall to taste the victory? I want him to know that the real win is in the act of going for it, that it’s OK to put it all out there. Sometimes he’ll fall on his face and other times he’ll stand on top of the podium. Either way, his mom and I are proud of him and he should be proud of himself.

The ski dads and I have taken it upon ourselves to make sure our kids know where we stand, that we WANT them to go for it, even if it means risking everything. We’ve been playing with fun phrases to egg them on:

“Go big, or go home!”
“It’s checkers or wreckers!”
“Send it or end it!”
“You only get dessert if you’re on the podium or in the dirt!”
And a good old-fashioned “LFG!” never hurt anyone, either.

I think that’s the real lesson here. There’s a difference, and I mean a REAL difference, between playing to win versus playing not to lose.

Unfortunately, when it comes to the games of life and work, often too many of us end up playing not to lose. And we’re not even competing against anyone! We don’t go for our dreams, we don’t take the big risks. We hope to “stand up our runs” and not crash out. And while it certainly takes hard work and discipline to execute a clean run, there’s not as much glory in it, is there?

As I support my son and his teammates, I’m inspired to look at where I’m playing not to lose. I’m challenging myself to play to win, with all the ups and downs and bumps and bruises that’ll come with it. I invite you to do the same. I’m cheering for you and I’m here to support you.

Regardless of what you’re doing, success is inevitable if you’re willing to go for it, pick yourself up after the fall, and try, try again.

Now, LFG!

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