It’s a steamy day in New England as I write this, and yet I can’t stop thinking about turning up the heat.

Let me set the stage - for the past few summers, my kids have been fortunate enough to go to sleep away camp. And while my older son was instrumental in selecting that camp, over the years his interests have shifted and his enjoyment has waned. We knew he wasn’t having the most amazing summer experience, but it was comfortable and familiar. It was safe.

As is often the case, the idea of change seemed daunting. So we agreed to start exploring other camps without commitment or expectation. And as it turned out, there were lots of options and even one that stood out and excited us all (shout out to Camp Arrow Wood!). Throughout his search, it was fun to watch him speak his truth. He found strength in advocating for himself.

Yet, as the days approached, he became more nervous than usual. Of course, he was worried about not knowing anyone. He was also having mixed emotions about being pushed harder athletically than he had been pushed before. I assured him that these were natural feelings, though that did little to calm his nerves on the drive to drop him off.

I’m pleased to report that he had the time of his life. While I was always confident, I do think he surprised himself a little. His maturity and his confidence increased more than usual. I’d like to think he’s beginning to see the value of stepping outside his comfort zone, turning up the heat, and testing himself. He’s gaining the confidence one achieves as they take on life’s challenges and get to see what they’re made of - win or lose.

I love getting inspired by my kids!

Reflecting back, my greatest growth has often spawned from my greatest discomfort. I also recognize that when we share stories of how we face challenges and overcome them, we reinforce the strength within us while simultaneously inspiring others.

So how do I think about taking on tough challenges?

I believe it starts with our inner dialogue. What we say to ourselves matters - we can speak positivity (or negativity!) into existence. For me, it starts with a go-to mantra - a short phrase that can give me strength and focus, maybe even inspiration, under pressure or discomfort.

My go-to is “I can do hard things.” Sometimes it comes in a whisper, a gentle reminder. Other times, it’s in all CAPS with exclamation points. I’ve noticed myself speaking those words out loud, almost subconsciously, as the muscle gets stronger.

But you don’t have to use my words…

My wife will say “I got this!” to herself when she’s feeling the pressure (I know because I hear her say it to herself in the shower before a hard day!)
Nelson Mandela was known to say “I never lose. I either win or learn,” taking the pressure off a situation
One of my greatest mentors likes to say “F@*k it!” like he’s charging out of a fox hole
And I’ve always appreciated the subtle power of “…yet” when I’m not feeling proficient and might be coming down hard on myself.

How do you encourage yourself? What do you say when things get hard?

Because the results are in! That growth you’re looking for, that next step on your journey, that slingshot forward or reinvention you crave in your career - it’s on the other side of your comfort zone.

Don’t miss out because it’s uncomfortable, get yourself a mantra (&/or anything else you need) to cope with the heat and get after it!

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